chill & heal
This has been hard for me to write … and send out. But I must. I am leaving New Jersey for a while. I could tell you a lot of different ‘stories’ … and they would ALL be true! … but what it comes down to is I need to take a break for a while for my own well-being. Basically, I need to heal myself and ‘Re-Boot’ my Life. As some of you know, I lost my 15 yr old daughter a year and a half ago. A lot has happened in my life the last few years … a LOT of changes … big ones – and I have been ‘running’ without stopping it seems. There are a lot of reasons … & sometimes I feel like I’m running away … or am I simply acknowledging my ‘human-ness’ … my physical and emotional, and (more likely than not) my ‘illusionary’ limitations??!! It’s hard to tell. It is almost like I need a ‘shock’ to move on from the Shock.
Anyway … I am taking a break and will be in Austin TX for the next ‘while’ of my Life. My family is there. It is hard to leave. I feel my bowls are again on the verge of even more here in the Northeast. I can feel it. But … I need to do what is best for my two sons and myself. I am always always ‘giving’ … and it is time I ‘give’ to myself. It really is hard for me to leave all of you. You have all enhanced my life just by coming to my sessions & sharing your amazing experiences with my bowls. I will return! At a minimum once or twice a year … and could possibly return to live here. At this point all possibilities are open. I am taking this well deserved break … or as my sister says … come ‘Chill & Heal.’
I can’t imagine anything worse for someone to go thru than to lose a child. (& it just dawned on me that I am writing this on Mother’s Day) I know I’m not the only one on the planet that has suffered… there is a lot of heartache. But when it happens to you … & you are so devastated … you just can’t imagine anyone else on the planet understanding how you feel … & you feel so alone. You feel so broken. And then I get angry … angry at Life for taking her and all the ‘possibilities’ she had before her … angry at Life for leaving me with this hole inside of me for the rest of my life … angry at Life for the heartache it has caused my family. I felt betrayed by Life (I’m a good person, how could Life do this? How could I ‘attract’ this?). A lot of ‘beliefs’ fell away that day … a lot of illusion. But, I also know I must continue.
What have I ‘gleaned’ from this tragic event? Well … I have been thru grief … to anger … to betrayal … to realizing it all comes down to me and my inner strength … whatever that is. ‘Cause that’s all you are EVER left with … is the ‘inner’ you facing the truth of your ‘outer’ reality … and hopefully realizing the potential magic of future ‘possibilities’ … always …
I am here thru the end of June. Please come experience the power of my bowls before I am gone. You know NO ONE plays them like me.
And remember … BOWLS open you to the ‘magic’ of your own unique POSSIBILITIES …