Chill & Heal

Yoga practicioner during the sunset meditation

chill & heal

This has been hard for me to write … and send out.  But I must.  I am leaving New Jersey for a while.  I could tell you a lot of different ‘stories’ … and they would ALL be true! … but what it comes down to is I need to take a break for a while for my own well-being.  Basically, I need to heal myself and ‘Re-Boot’ my Life.  As some of you know, I lost my 15 yr old daughter a year and a half ago.  A lot has happened in my life the last few years … a LOT of changes … big ones – and I have been ‘running’ without stopping it seems. There are a lot of reasons … & sometimes I feel like I’m running away … or am I simply acknowledging my ‘human-ness’ … my physical and emotional, and (more likely than not) my ‘illusionary’ limitations??!!  It’s hard to tell.  It is almost like I need a ‘shock’ to move on from the Shock.

Anyway … I am taking a break and will be in Austin TX for the next ‘while’ of my Life.  My family is there.  It is hard to leave.  I feel my bowls are again on the verge of even more here in the Northeast.  I can feel it.  But … I need to do what is best for my two sons and myself.  I am always always ‘giving’ … and it is time I ‘give’ to myself.  It really is hard for me to leave all of you.  You have all enhanced my life just by coming to my sessions & sharing your amazing experiences with my bowls.  I will return!  At a minimum once or twice a year … and could possibly return to live here.  At this point all possibilities are open.  I am taking this well deserved break … or as my sister says … come ‘Chill & Heal.’

I can’t imagine anything worse for someone to go thru than to lose a child.  (& it just dawned on me that I am writing this on Mother’s Day)  I know I’m not the only one on the planet that has suffered… there is a lot of heartache.  But when it happens to you … & you are so devastated … you just can’t imagine anyone else on the planet understanding how you feel … & you feel so alone.  You feel so broken.   And then I get angry … angry at Life for taking her and all the ‘possibilities’ she had before her … angry at Life for leaving me with this hole inside of me for the rest of my life … angry at Life for the heartache it has caused my family.  I felt betrayed by Life (I’m a good person, how could Life do this?  How could I ‘attract’ this?).  A lot of ‘beliefs’ fell away that day … a lot of illusion.  But, I also know I must continue.

What have I ‘gleaned’ from this tragic event?  Well … I have been thru grief … to anger … to betrayal … to realizing it all comes down to me and my inner strength … whatever that is.  ‘Cause that’s all you are EVER left with … is the ‘inner’ you facing the truth of your ‘outer’ reality … and hopefully realizing the potential magic of future ‘possibilities’ … always …

I am here thru the end of June.  Please come experience the power of my bowls before I am gone.  You know NO ONE plays them like me.

And remember … BOWLS open you to the ‘magic’ of your own unique POSSIBILITIES …